Things I Love About China

Specifically, Guangzhou.

1.  Riverboat Cruise Clowns.  I mean, who doesn't love them?

2.  Secret Sites.  Guangzhou is literally the best kept secret in China travel.  It's got everything, and no one knows it.  From millenia-old unearthed tombs to caves to more parks per capita than just about any Chinese city, to waterparks to Buddhist temples to old growth banyan groves to mountains, to Sun Yat-sen memorials, to folk art museums to paintball battlegrounds.  It also has the best food in all of China, hands down.  It even looks eerily like Vermont if you manage to get anywhere outside the city.  You can have Beijing and Shanghai, give me Guangzhou any day.    

3.  Shamian Island.  Hey, I don't like living there, but it's great place to spend a few hours knocking around.

4.  The Sidewalks.  Sidewalks in China are made of tiles, not concrete.  They're often assembled in amazing mozaic patterns.  Better yet, every single sidewalk in urban China is designed with a special strip of off-pattern tiles that serve as built-in guide lanes for the blind.  You can close your eyes and walk on these lanes from one end of the city to the other without danger.  Any time you approach a hazard, the lane pattern changes slightly to alert you, and also let you know how to navigate around it -- to the right or left, through with caution, examine and proceed, etc.  You don't even need a cane, you can feel the patterns through the soles of your shoes.  Talk about citywide accessibility for the handicapped. 

5.  The Fruit.  Dragon fruit, dragon's eyes, 50 kinds of apples, watermelon everywhere, fresh lychee nuts all red and knobbly and bursting at the seams, bitter melons and sugar-sweet tomatoes, star fruit right off the tree, bananas in a dozen sizes and colors.  I could eat just fruit all day and not be unhappy. 

6.  Karaoke.  As in, whole clubs with private rooms dedicated to it.  A repertoire of thousands of songs, Eastern and Western.  Couches and drinks and just friends, so you can embarass yourself in peace (so to speak). 

7.  Mandarin.  Any language that incorporates music right into its most basic intonation is fine by me.  It might be hard to learn, but nothing worth doing is easy.  I like the fact that I could say "This restaurant is a lovely establishment" or "My baboon's ass scratches flaky" using exactly the same words with just slightly different intonation.  Imagine the poetic possibilities. 

8.  Ideograms.  Speaking of poetry, Chinese characters -- so antithetical to our Western way of linear written thought; so beautiful; endlessly fascinating.  I once spent an hour watching a guy with a towel wrapped around the end of a pole, that he would dip in a bucket of water and use to create calligraphy on the sidewalk.  By the time he finished the last character, the first was already evaporating into the ether.  Soemtimes the Chinese are on just a different plane of thought than we are.  Not saying it's better, or worse, but we could learn a lot from just how different.

9.  Exercise.  Many Chinese find a way to exercise several times a week.  They also exercise communally, and in moderation.  They whack a badminton birdie back and forth, or do some special t'ai chi early in the morning, or practice ballroom dancing in the park, or kick around a little feathered thing.  Unlike us, they almost always look like they're having a great time when they're exercising. 

10.  Foot Massages.  A "foot massage" in China is an hour-long affair that begins with you soaking your feet in a bath of hot water infused with herbs and medicines.  While your feet soak, you get a fairly robust shoulder, back and head massage, then your arms and hands and fingers.  Finally you recline in a comfortable chair while they pat your feet dry and then give you the best foot massage of your life, and finish off with your calves and thighs.  This is a "foot massage."  It costs about $8 and you can get one anywhere, anytime. 

11.  Engrish.  My favorite was a sign at a hotel I stayed at that read "Multiplying is only allowed by the elevators."  To this day I wish I'd gotten a picture of that one. 

12.  Eli!  I don't know if you're aware of this, but you can adopt children in China.  Pretty great ones.

13.  Newspapers.  Chinese journalism can be unintentionally hilarious, particularly the editorials. 

14.  Students, Colleagues, Experts.  Often brilliant, creative, engaged, and highly motivated.

15.  Leaving.  After a long trip, there's nothing quite like knowing you've got a ticket home.

We'll be in the air in 12 hours.